Weird names

I feel sleepy right now.

I woke up today earlier than the usual (but I know it's noon already since I'm awakened by the heat and by my sister's cellphone alarm) and felt I got hang over because of the drinking session with Jun (Sarsa) yesterday.

I went to their house because for the past few weeks since Christmas break started (I think even before it started), Sarsa was texting me, sending greetings as if making "paramdam" that we should set a date (this is not bromance okay?) for us to meet again.

I went to their house yesterday to ask him to go with me and ask for Justice's cellphone number and address. I was planning to go to her uncle's house where she used to live and bring Sarsa with me. That way,  I'll get the extra guts to go there and ask what I needed to ask. I failed to say it to Sarsa since I'm quite shy to tell it so we ended up having a drink. His brother Lester (Popoy) was there and another familiar face, CJ (Botchok) who I become acquainted with also since he's always at the inuman sessions.

We enjoyed the inuman since we did not see each other for a long time but the real reason why I'm writing this blog is because I want to discuss how Sarsa or Baryo people in particular (Baryo is a place in Cainta and is where I live) have weird sounding names (that does not exclude me).

Here are the few weird names (people I know and Sarsa's friend combined) I know:

• Bukol (the swelling or the bump in the head when it gets hit hard by an object, "nauntog")
• Pala (as in the shovel)
• Emong (not pronounced as the "E" in emo but the Tagalog E)
• Moeng (it looks like the reverse name of Emong because only the letter E was transposed to the middle)
• Dogie (yes, as in like the teach me how to doggie)
• Bilog (this in English means circle)
• Kulot (due to his curly hair when it gets long)
• Dodong (it's like dodo with NG added)
• Palaka (Yes, this is real. There is someone named Palaka here in barrio. Palaka means frog of course)
• Itchok (this is like an onomatopoeic name or something)
• Usoy (It's weird, right? Kinda sounds like usok and isoy combined)
• Niknek (What the hell is Niknek? Like a niknek na sugat or something?)

Of course, I keep mentioning earlier, Sarsa (which means sauce) and yours truly also has a weird name: Rooster. That's right, the male chicken. I don't want to be called by my real name, btw.

So those are just a few examples of the weird names we have here in Baryo (or Barrio, I don't know the real spelling).

I started journal writing

I started writing on my journal, finally! Yehey! I want to celebrate!

I got two journal entries already, too. Finally I can write as freely as I want. I don't feel I can write freely here. I don't even allow other people to know my blog site so that means I'm not confident here. But with a journal and with only me reading it, I can enjoy freedom in writing and in expressing myself. Hehe.

Pam bought the journal/notebook for me as a Christmas gift since I lost my coin purse in the jeep. I'm really happy because I got the desired style of the journal. It is not ruled. It doesn't have grids in it. It's perfect because I can write and draw at the same time there. I'm also sad because I lost the coin purse which Kim gave to me as a birthday present. My two USB flash drives are also inside that purse.

Anyway, there will always be a mix of things. A balance in life. Good and bad. Yin and Yang. On the good hand, I'm happy to obtain a journal finally. Alright, I know this is so irritating already since I keep on mentioning it.

Merry Christmas readers and bloggers like me! This is my Christmas entry. Hahaha. I'm on thesis mode later. Enjoy the season!

I dreamed of Justice

I dreamed of Justice this morning.

I was transported to high school where I was leading a class. I stand as the class president and I was speaking over a microphone. There were familiar faces like Joy Camille Reyes and Aileen Borela who were my elementary and first year high school classmates respectively.

When I decided to sit down to copy notes from the blackboard I saw Justice seated at the front seat. I asked Gela where she hangs out after class and she just pointed a place. I assumed it was at Manong's & Manang's halflong-an. I was not yet finished with what I was copying. The teacher won't allow that I delay the submission of it for tomorrow. When I finished copying, she's gone.

I woke up from my dream at around 11AM feeling my tummy aching again.

I wish I could see Justice again. I desperately wanted to see her. We need to talk. Our conversation will declare if I'm going to move on from her or not.

I quit smoking

Hi!

I haven't smoked for three days. I'm trying to quit. I hope this will work. I'm substituting Fox's candy for cigarettes. This is what Toru Okada of The Wind-up Bird Chronicle did when he quitted smoking except that he has "lemon drops". I don't even know what lemon drops look like or how it taste like or where I can buy those type of candies. I had to find my version of lemon drops, thus, Fox's candy came the closest.

Jeje is also quitting smoking because according to him he needs lung power to reach high notes when he is performing. He is somewhat my inspiration. I just need motivations and new addictions to divert the craving feeling of wanting to smoke to succeed in quitting.

I don't mean to be the K.J. type when I chose to quit smoking. I miss the guilt pleasure sometimes though.

Dilemma on Girls

I want a Samaskomer girlfriend.

That's the reason why I joined the org. Or maybe not.

Originally, it was Jeje Santos, an alumnus of my school in elementary and highschool and now the vocalist of the band Giniling Festival (sometimes tagged as the System of a Down of the Philippines). Hooray for that.

I'm lazy. I wanted to discuss things about what we've discussed during the G.F. (Giniling Festival) album launch part 3. We were talking about fiction novels, "God is Dead" things, films, among other stuff. I'll discuss these when I get the enthusiasm, or the energy, or whatever is the antonym of laziness.

I like Georgie Girl very much. Haha. Georgie Girl by the way is my orgmate. Her real name is Ja (Janine Marie). She's so cute and so pretty. Not to mention, she's also sexy (I still mentioned it, haha). I wanted to court her but there are certain balakids (not the fliptop rapper) that prevents me to do so. And these are:

1. She is Papilord's original crush (Papilord is my orgmate also, and my godson in Samaskom. His real name is Marc).
2. It was April who was my first bet and to whom I showed signs that she is my bet.
3. I am not certain of what to do.
4. I might just be diverting my feelings for Claire and is just looking for someone else to love.

The last reason's the one I hated most.

I don't mind if I get "basted" by Georgie Girl. I don't want to make a move yet because I might hurt April's feelings. It's so complicated right now. Plus, sometimes I still think about Justice. I admire her courage and bravery for accepting her past. She too has a dark secret I know. Mine, I can't just tell it to all my friends.

I hope some divine enlightenment comes down to me and then I'll know who really to pursue. Hahaha.

I need somebody to love. I don't understand why they always say "mahalin mo muna ang sarili (nang mabuti), bago ka magmahal ng iba". I think I've loved myself well enough. I'm one selfish kid and I need someone else I'll share my love to. I hope it's Georgie Girl. Hahahahahaha.

P.S. I'm looking over Georgie Girl's pictures on facebook while writing this. So panext!

Secret revealed and Pain

I don't know how to face the new day. I'm still tied from the past. Past memories I want to repress or better yet, permanently delete.

Today, I told my batchmates in Samaskom the darkest secret I have. This dark secret is the reason why I hate my childhood, hate the place where I live in, and hate my life.

I just want to be reincarnated or something. I didn't like how my fate went. I know however dark my past is, it won't define me as a person but it still affects me.

I cried hard again today. I  just want to let it out. I don't know if people around me really care, but I don't care. I don't mind. This does not happen to me that often and when it does happen, my mind becomes shrouded with negativities.

I can't think clearly. I can't even start with the things I have to do.

I don't know what to think. It matters to me how people will think about me after knowing my dark past.

The Dark Me (Literally and Figuratively)

There are times when I really want to detach myself from the society. I really want to withdraw right now. I wish my life also has a refresh button. I want to delete some parts of my memory. This is not a suicide note. I think thinking such thought is corny. Life is beautiful, only people make it ugly by ruining your day. That's one example at least.

My tummy ached again last night. I got upset whenever my tummy aches. I have this sickness since I was in first year high school I think. Nothing really, I just feel like sharing it.

Right now, I'm confused. I haven't started anything related to acads yet. I got a lot to do. I was not able to attend our meeting for our BA 170 class. I have to go to lib today to find related literature for my thesis topic. I'm planning to change it. I need to go to school today but my sister forgot to give me my allowance. I said I got a lot of work to do.

I always think about Claire and April. I get hurt when I see Claire with someone else but we quarrel most of the times we are together. April on the other hand makes me happy but I don't always see her. She only goes to school if she wants to. She's just completing her thesis. She, on the other hand... I can't understand her. I don't think she likes me (as a boyfriend). While Claire, I don't know if I loved her. I'm just jealous with the others who admit they have a crush on her. I don't know if I'm jealous with that idea or jealous of Claire her self.

This is really weird. I need to text my groupmates and tell them I can't make it.

Dark, don't come soon enough for me please (from the Tegan & Sara song).

Zombie Apocalypse!

Let me tell you what I dreamed about last night.

I can't recall the entire dream and the correct sequence. Of course, it is impossible to remember the entirety, meaning, every small detail of your dream because according to psychology it is just not possible.

This is how the dream went. I was kissing a girl whom I met in a sort of carenderia-restaurant type of setting. The girl's face looks familiar but I'm not really sure if I met her before. According to my professor in Psych 101, the people you meet in your dreams whom you don't recognize are people you encounter in your everyday life but you don't notice or give attention to. Did you get my point? Anyway, so there, I was kissing her for a long time until we hold off. The next scene was a zombie apocalypse. We (I and my closest friends) are running away from zombies that are chasing us. We even climbed this wire wall and found ourselves in a narrow alleyway and saw the zombies were already there and we climbed back. The next scene, we were shooting the zombies with the bird-shot or shotgun type of gun and when we were out of bullets already, we used the butt of the gun to hit the zombies and to keep them away from us.

I didn't want the dream to end because I want to know if we are going to survive the zombie apocalypse or if we will be eaten by them or if we will become zombies like them. I realized in the scene where we were fighting the zombies that I must be dreaming but then, like I said I didn't want to wake up. But I was awaken by the heat because it was noontime already. I wanted more of the zombie apocalypse dream!

So there. I hope you liked my zombie apocalypse dream except the kissing scene part. Yuck.