The Dark Me (Literally and Figuratively)

There are times when I really want to detach myself from the society. I really want to withdraw right now. I wish my life also has a refresh button. I want to delete some parts of my memory. This is not a suicide note. I think thinking such thought is corny. Life is beautiful, only people make it ugly by ruining your day. That's one example at least.

My tummy ached again last night. I got upset whenever my tummy aches. I have this sickness since I was in first year high school I think. Nothing really, I just feel like sharing it.

Right now, I'm confused. I haven't started anything related to acads yet. I got a lot to do. I was not able to attend our meeting for our BA 170 class. I have to go to lib today to find related literature for my thesis topic. I'm planning to change it. I need to go to school today but my sister forgot to give me my allowance. I said I got a lot of work to do.

I always think about Claire and April. I get hurt when I see Claire with someone else but we quarrel most of the times we are together. April on the other hand makes me happy but I don't always see her. She only goes to school if she wants to. She's just completing her thesis. She, on the other hand... I can't understand her. I don't think she likes me (as a boyfriend). While Claire, I don't know if I loved her. I'm just jealous with the others who admit they have a crush on her. I don't know if I'm jealous with that idea or jealous of Claire her self.

This is really weird. I need to text my groupmates and tell them I can't make it.

Dark, don't come soon enough for me please (from the Tegan & Sara song).