In my mind I thought, maybe I am really choosy. But more than that, I just wanted to be sure with the girl first before courting her. They say that love is a gamble. I say in a gamble, you keep your best cards and put them down later. Why take a risk and venture on something you are uncertain? I believe that it is a kind of equation. You have to be certain first before embarking on something such as a love journey for you to be successful in it and for you to avoid any type of doubt in the end. You don't want to blame yourself in the end just because you were uncertain in the beginning, do you?
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Teromantico's Love Advice Episode 2
Yesternight, on my way to Katipunan from UP, my thesis partner told me that
I'm choosy with girls. She said that someone has an interest in me and I'm the
one who's turning her down. She was pertaining to her friend whom I met through
her as well. I did not assume that that friend of her likes me because when I
last talked to her (the friend), she has a boyfriend already.
In my mind I thought, maybe I am really choosy. But more than that, I just wanted to be sure with the girl first before courting her. They say that love is a gamble. I say in a gamble, you keep your best cards and put them down later. Why take a risk and venture on something you are uncertain? I believe that it is a kind of equation. You have to be certain first before embarking on something such as a love journey for you to be successful in it and for you to avoid any type of doubt in the end. You don't want to blame yourself in the end just because you were uncertain in the beginning, do you?
In my mind I thought, maybe I am really choosy. But more than that, I just wanted to be sure with the girl first before courting her. They say that love is a gamble. I say in a gamble, you keep your best cards and put them down later. Why take a risk and venture on something you are uncertain? I believe that it is a kind of equation. You have to be certain first before embarking on something such as a love journey for you to be successful in it and for you to avoid any type of doubt in the end. You don't want to blame yourself in the end just because you were uncertain in the beginning, do you?
Rants not Deserving
New BG
How d'ya like my new background? Hypnic jerk seems legit with this background, doesn't it? I found it in somewhere-I-will-not-tell-you-motherfucker site.
OMWH
On my way home from school, I went too far from where I'm supposed to drop off (the Sto. Nino street). I fell asleep with my headphones and music still on because I was so fucking tired with what I am doing, i.e. thesis. When I woke up I was at Estrella (Spanish for stars) already. I checked my stuff and found them still complete. I thought, what a wasted life I have. When can I do what I want to do? I actually don't have the right to complain because as compared to the life of others, mine's far better. Here we go again with comparisons. There are two things I am trying to avoid in this moment of my life right now. The first one is comparing myself or my life to others and the second one is doing "sumbat" (note: just now, I tried googling the right English term for "sumbat" but it seems like there is no exact counterpart of that Tagalog word in English).
Define: Sumbat
The term is defined (at least in my interpretation) as when a person find faults on you, scolds you, or blames you and tells you things that they regret doing when in fact they already did it. To concretize more, I'll give one example based on a situation I got involved in not so long ago.
One day, I misplaced my sister's money when I had it changed for many denominations (barya) and left home without telling her where I placed it. We were both in a hurry. I had a meeting to attend to at school and she also had a meeting somewhere. She texted me while I was still inside a jeep on my way to UP some harsh statements like: "Saan mo nilagay yung pera? Magaling ka talagang manira ng araw e." and "Siguraduhin mo lang na gagraduate ka ngayong sem dahil wala na kaming pampaaral sa'yo." which are out of the context because I just misplaced her money and there she goes with bringing up cobwebs of issues totally unrelated to that mistake I made. So there, I hope you get it when I say what "sumbat" means. In short, it's bringing up a lot of complains, frustrations and good things they did for you just because you did something wrong. I hate it so much when people do "sumbatan". But when I think about it, consciously and unconsciously I sometimes do the same misbehavior so I don't have the right to hate it. Do you understand where I'm coming from? Ugh.
How d'ya like my new background? Hypnic jerk seems legit with this background, doesn't it? I found it in somewhere-I-will-not-tell-you-motherfucker site.
OMWH
On my way home from school, I went too far from where I'm supposed to drop off (the Sto. Nino street). I fell asleep with my headphones and music still on because I was so fucking tired with what I am doing, i.e. thesis. When I woke up I was at Estrella (Spanish for stars) already. I checked my stuff and found them still complete. I thought, what a wasted life I have. When can I do what I want to do? I actually don't have the right to complain because as compared to the life of others, mine's far better. Here we go again with comparisons. There are two things I am trying to avoid in this moment of my life right now. The first one is comparing myself or my life to others and the second one is doing "sumbat" (note: just now, I tried googling the right English term for "sumbat" but it seems like there is no exact counterpart of that Tagalog word in English).
Define: Sumbat
The term is defined (at least in my interpretation) as when a person find faults on you, scolds you, or blames you and tells you things that they regret doing when in fact they already did it. To concretize more, I'll give one example based on a situation I got involved in not so long ago.
One day, I misplaced my sister's money when I had it changed for many denominations (barya) and left home without telling her where I placed it. We were both in a hurry. I had a meeting to attend to at school and she also had a meeting somewhere. She texted me while I was still inside a jeep on my way to UP some harsh statements like: "Saan mo nilagay yung pera? Magaling ka talagang manira ng araw e." and "Siguraduhin mo lang na gagraduate ka ngayong sem dahil wala na kaming pampaaral sa'yo." which are out of the context because I just misplaced her money and there she goes with bringing up cobwebs of issues totally unrelated to that mistake I made. So there, I hope you get it when I say what "sumbat" means. In short, it's bringing up a lot of complains, frustrations and good things they did for you just because you did something wrong. I hate it so much when people do "sumbatan". But when I think about it, consciously and unconsciously I sometimes do the same misbehavior so I don't have the right to hate it. Do you understand where I'm coming from? Ugh.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
I joined a writing contest
This is an entry I submitted for UP Writers' Club Forbidden Love Letter writing contest. Unfortunately, I did not win. But it's okay. I did not expect to win either way. And I'm just an amateur writer so I don't expect much. Anyway, the experience of joining a writing contest heightens my adrenaline. I am looking forward to discovering and joining more writing contests even if I don't win on them.
January 30, 2013
Dear Baby Girl,
I don’t know if I can take this any longer but I can’t imagine you living a life with him. We exist in this make-believe world we ourselves created. It’s my fault I was a few years late and when I found you, you’re in the arms of another man already. But you gave me that chance to wait and to hold on until you guys fall out of love. I clung to that hope. I’m not happy with the idea of being the other man but my love for you makes me irrational that I accepted that fact. Our secret dates when I visit you at home and pretend to be your best friend are the best moments in my life. Time literally freezes. Every minute spent with you is an eternity for me. Those tiny hands of yours that I want to hold close to me and those sweet lips I want to kiss. Only I can’t because you are still with him. How I wish I could turn back time, in high school where I could have been more confident, more determined, more persistent in courting you. I could have exerted more effort. I shouldn’t have let distance obstruct my way in winning your heart.
I couldn’t be completely happy with the situation we are in right now, Baby Girl. I honestly feel that the kind of love I receive from you is just fragments, is just leftovers of the whole love I could have received if we are together and if we are not living in the world of lies. But we chose this. We decided to take this path together that night when I was looking straight into your eyes and was penetrating your soul. When you said “yes, let’s to do this”, you lighten my world even though we both know that this decision can hurt other people. But what can I do? You’re the only one who made me feel this way. You’re the only one who thought I am a great person, that I am more than I think I am. You were there when all else doubted what I can do. You made me feel loved.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to give you up. My whole world will collapse for sure. I don’t know if I can make it through this life without you. And this is the very reason why I’m writing you right now. Please come to my arms and leave him. I know you’ve been together for years now but I’m willing to match those years with my unconditional love for you. I cannot be contented with a half-hearted love. I want to feel your whole, pure, sole love. I want to be able to touch you, to embrace you, and to kiss you without ever feeling the pang of conscience. I don’t want to live in this lie anymore because you’re the only thing real to me. Please leave him and choose me. I promise to give you the love you truly deserve. I can’t wait any longer for you guys to fall out of love because the more that you are with him, the more you’ll feel less for me and the more you’ll doubt your love for me. That is one painful thing I can’t bear.
I’ll be waiting for your response by any means. Whatever decision you make Baby Girl, please don’t forget that I love you. I love you with all my heart, with all my soul, with all of me.
The one who loves you deservingly,
T
January 30, 2013
Dear Baby Girl,
I don’t know if I can take this any longer but I can’t imagine you living a life with him. We exist in this make-believe world we ourselves created. It’s my fault I was a few years late and when I found you, you’re in the arms of another man already. But you gave me that chance to wait and to hold on until you guys fall out of love. I clung to that hope. I’m not happy with the idea of being the other man but my love for you makes me irrational that I accepted that fact. Our secret dates when I visit you at home and pretend to be your best friend are the best moments in my life. Time literally freezes. Every minute spent with you is an eternity for me. Those tiny hands of yours that I want to hold close to me and those sweet lips I want to kiss. Only I can’t because you are still with him. How I wish I could turn back time, in high school where I could have been more confident, more determined, more persistent in courting you. I could have exerted more effort. I shouldn’t have let distance obstruct my way in winning your heart.
I couldn’t be completely happy with the situation we are in right now, Baby Girl. I honestly feel that the kind of love I receive from you is just fragments, is just leftovers of the whole love I could have received if we are together and if we are not living in the world of lies. But we chose this. We decided to take this path together that night when I was looking straight into your eyes and was penetrating your soul. When you said “yes, let’s to do this”, you lighten my world even though we both know that this decision can hurt other people. But what can I do? You’re the only one who made me feel this way. You’re the only one who thought I am a great person, that I am more than I think I am. You were there when all else doubted what I can do. You made me feel loved.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to give you up. My whole world will collapse for sure. I don’t know if I can make it through this life without you. And this is the very reason why I’m writing you right now. Please come to my arms and leave him. I know you’ve been together for years now but I’m willing to match those years with my unconditional love for you. I cannot be contented with a half-hearted love. I want to feel your whole, pure, sole love. I want to be able to touch you, to embrace you, and to kiss you without ever feeling the pang of conscience. I don’t want to live in this lie anymore because you’re the only thing real to me. Please leave him and choose me. I promise to give you the love you truly deserve. I can’t wait any longer for you guys to fall out of love because the more that you are with him, the more you’ll feel less for me and the more you’ll doubt your love for me. That is one painful thing I can’t bear.
I’ll be waiting for your response by any means. Whatever decision you make Baby Girl, please don’t forget that I love you. I love you with all my heart, with all my soul, with all of me.
The one who loves you deservingly,
T
Pre-valentine Kabitteran
Habang pauwi ako kanina pagkatapos ihatid sa Marikina ang thesis partner kong si Mia, may na-ispatan akong isang babae at isang lalaki sa may Sta. Lucia. Nakaupo sila sa may plant box sa tapat ng MMDA footbridge na kulay green. Magkadikit ang kanilang mga hita habang si lalaki ay may hawak na isang pirasong rosas, nakabalot pa sa wrapper na gamit din sa plastic cover. "Ang aga naman para sa Valentine's" sabi ko sa sarili ko. "Ilang minuto pa e". Napangiti na lang ako.
Pagkalagpas ko ng kaunti, nakita ko naman ang magjowang tomboy. Sweet na sweet silang naghaharutan, magkahawak pa ng kamay. Napaisip ako. "Talamak na talamak a". Ganoon ba talaga kapag bisperas ng araw ng mga puso? S-e-g-e.
Noong mag-aabang na ako ng jeep pa-Cainta, nagutom ako bigla. Sige, kain muna akong Angel's Burger. Pagtawid ko, may magjowang heterosekswal na naman. At talagang pinuputakte ako ng mga magjojowa a. Sabi na nga ba, dapat hindi na ko lumabas ng bahay.
Hanggang sa pagsakay ko sa jeep, katapat ko mag-jowa din. Tapos pinapatugtog pa oldies na love song sa stereo ni manong.
Talaga namang patok na patok ang Valentine's ngayong taon ha.
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